Short and to the point.

You and or someone you know needs to read this! (5 minute read) It will be short and straight to the point. If this doesn’t talk to your heart, there is someone that you know right now that needs to read this post. So read it and if it doesn’t apply to you, then think about who in your life will be impacted by reading this and share it with them.

I started Love’s Top 10 to help you.

I started Love’s Top 10 almost 10 years ago with one thought in mind, uncomplicating love and sharing what I learned with others. To help people just like you. I must admit, I let it sit on the back burner for a while (years), but here it is. I am so excited with the projects we have coming your direction. Books like Love’s Top 10: Statistically Speaking; the podcast, Loves Top 10: I’m No Expert; the YouTube Series, Loves Top 10:Complicating Love, Love’s Top 10: Love Her Love Him, and many others coming out the end of October through November. Each project is geared towards sharing what I have learned to help you improve your life through love. I truly believe that love makes the world go around.

Love can enhance your life incredibly or tear it down drastically, it’s up to you.

We both know that love can make you feel like you are so high, like you are floating on top of the clouds. Or it can make you feel so low, that you can’t see anything but darkness. Where are you on that scale? If you’re reading this then more than likely you are in the latter of the two.  Yet, we both know that’s not how love is supposed to be. We get the questions all the time, “How do I get my ex back?”, when maybe you need to let your ex go. Or, “How can I save my relationship?” when maybe, you need to think about saving you. Yes of course love looks different to everyone. No matter what your love looks like, it should enhance your life, not tear it down. If it is tearing you down, maybe it’s time to do some soul searching and really dig deep to figure out what you need to do to make your life better. More often then not, we hang on to the very things that we need to let go of. We wait until every last drop of ourselves is gone, to the point where we lose ourselves. Then the person we just lost ourselves for is gone as well. So we end up lost, and alone, in the end. You are the one that determines when you let go and how much of yourself you will lose in the process. You are the one left picking up the pieces at the end, so how many pieces do you want to pick up?

What you can’t do.

You can’t force someone to love you, no matter how much you love them. You can’t lose yourself while trying to find something in someone else, that will likely never be found. You can’t wait for something to work, that wasn’t meant to work out. You can’t force someone to stay, when all they want to do is leave. You can’t hold onto a dream, while living in a nightmare. You can’t make something happen that shouldn’t have happened in the first place. You can’t give all of you and then have nothing left for you. You can’t let your feelings control your mind. You can’t put your life on hold for someone that just holds you up. You can’t move forward with someone that clearly is holding you back. You can’t love, truly love someone when all you do is hurt.

What you can do.

You can stop hanging onto the person that has already let go of you. You can stop looking at things how you want them to be, how they can or should be and look at them how they are. You can realize that what is was, or what you want it to be, is not what it is now. You can look at yourself and accept your reality. You can work on yourself, instead of working on someone who is just working you. You can build yourself up without constantly being torn down. You can stop waiting for a bus that isn’t coming. You can stop dying on the inside, so you can start living the life you are supposed to live. You can look in the mirror and love yourself just as you are and know there is someone that is waiting to love you also, just as you are.

Stop breaking your own heart.

At some point, you have to realize that the pain you are going through isn’t just being caused by your partner, but also by yourself by continuing to put yourself in the same position. At some point, you have to stop waiting for a change that clearly isn’t coming, and create the change. Yes, change takes time, but it only takes a moment for you to say, “Enough, today is the day that I choose me.” Unfortunately, in drug use or alcoholism, the person needs to hit rock bottom before they act. Many times they are forced to act because they got a DUI, they lost possessions, damaged their families beyond repair, or some other form of rock bottom. Where is your rock bottom before you stop breaking your own heart? They have already shown you everything you needed to see. So stop looking for something that isn’t there. It’s time to stop breaking your own heart.

Start healing your heart.

Healing your heart starts with you. You, and only you, can start the process of personal growth, nobody can do it for you.  You have the power to achieve what you want in life and in your relationships. I know this will be difficult, but you can do it. Start the healing process by taking a step back and giving yourself room to breathe. Surrounding yourself in the positivity of friends, family or finding your own support group can make this so much easier on you. Make a plan, move to forward and stop making excuses, which end up making you go backwards. You can do this because you’ve given so much to someone else, so you know you can give. But now it’s time to give to yourself. Healing your heart is painful just like healing from anything else. You are the why, and if the why is worth enough, and you are, you can figure out the how. (read this for pointers on getting over a breakup) It’s time to change the painful cycle and achieve your happiness. Personal awareness leads to personal growth. Personal growth leads to healing. Healing leads to happiness. It’s time to start healing yourself, by loving yourself.

From my heart to yours

Nobody deserves to walk around hurt, in pain, unhappy, angry or sad. However, only you can do something about it. It’s hard, if not impossible for a broken heart to really love, let alone receive love. Every relationship has it’s ups and downs, there is no clear cut blanket statement on what you should do in your situation. But if you have given so much of yourself, that you have nothing more to give, and you aren’t getting anything in return; then you need to do a self assessment (read this) so you can move forward. Once you accept, truly accept where you are, you can move forward. You can’t start the next chapter in your life until you finish this one. I truly wish you the best of luck. Everything will be ok. Because if it is truly right, if it is truly real, and you put work into it everything works out.