What in the world is cuffing season?: It cupcake time, trap season, cuddle time, Netflix and really Chill. Is it real?: Yes it’s very real, and hopefully we can give you some insight to keep you on your toes and how to navigate through it. We are definitely at that time of year when cuffing is in full swing. Each year around this time it is a little bit different, and this year is certainly no exception. There seems to be a special something in the air that is making this Cuffing Season hit a little harder than previous years.
What is Cuffing Season?
What is Cuffing Season (aka trap season, cuff season, cupcake season)
Yes, cuffing season is a real phenomenon, or so it seams. Simply put, Cuffing Season is the time of year when people want to Netflix and actually Chill. When the temperatures get cooler
We dug in and did a little research for a scientific explanation to share with you and this is what we found.
Caitlin Bergstein, a matchmaker for Three Day Rule, offers up some scientific rationale behind this dating ritual. “Cuffing season stems from a biological need to survive,” Bergstein says. “Thinking back to the caveman days and Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest, men and women literally had to match up to survive the colder months.” Part of this biological theory implies that survival means passing along genes — and to pass along your genes, you need to, ahem, find a mate. According to Bergstein, birth data shows that more babies are born during the late summer months, which means those babies were conceived during the wintertime. Considering additional studies that show there is a physiological increase in testosterone and estrogen levels during the winter, we can assume that, biologically, our bodies are programmed to want a mate during this time of year.
Deep Connections Can Cause Deep Pain.
While it certainly seems like I’m prepping you with some disclaimers of creating deep connection, I’ll use the same client above for the example. While he shared an incredibly deep connection with his partner, he wasn’t ready for that connection. He wasn’t prepared for everything that came with the connection, a relationship, commitment, love, etc. Unfortunately because he wasn’t ready for a deep connection, when he and his partner decided to take some time apart, it created the same deepness in pain. Imagine you dig a hole. You have one hole that is a few inches deep, and one that is a few feet deep. It rains and both holes fill up. Your job is to get the water out of the holes, with a spoon. It will take much longer to get the water out of the deeper hole. That’s the same with a deep connection. The deeper the connection, the deeper the pain can be. So as stated above, make sure you’re ready for the connection that is being developed.
You Won’t Connect With Everyone.
I think this goes without saying, but I thought I might touch on it for a moment. While I certainly believe that everyone has a shot at just about anyone, you can’t manufacture chemistry. You can put yourself in the best position to have the best chance at creating something, but if the natural chemistry isn’t there initially then you certainly have an uphill battle ahead of you. I hear all the time of people that are happily together, and in their stories, they say they knew each other for a while and they weren’t even on each others radar. Then one day boom. I also hear the same amount of ladies and men alike, that can’t get out of the friendzone no matter what they do. So just be prepared that you may not connect, no matter what you do, and that’s OK. It just means you haven’t met your person yet.
The Value Of A True Connection.
Connections like the one described by the gentleman above are somewhat rare and usually what people aspire to have. Some couples that have been married for years never develop a true emotional connection. Having a true connection can certainly enhance any relationship, but understanding and appreciating the value of that connection is as important as the connection itself. A true connection is like having two unicorns in your backyard. Even stars, as bright as they are, fade over time. If you have a true connection, realize you have a true connection with someone, value it, nurture it, maintain it, because if you don’t it will fade over time, and you might not get the chance to have a true connection again.
How To Develop A Connection.
So you’ve read everything above and you’re ready to develop a deeper connection with your partner, or with someone new. Here are some tips that can get you headed in the right direction.
- Eye contact is key. If you create good solid eye contact with a person, it let’s them know that they are the only thing that matters. Good eye contact and smiles are contagious.
- Be just the right amount of affectionate. This might take some time to figure out, but it’s better that you figure out on your own than ask. Find natural ways to be affectionate. Whether it be a gentle touch and smile on the cheek or a slow touch on a hand, find ways to affectionately connect (lightly).
- Ask questions and listen to the answers. Nothing shows you want to get closer to a person than asking questions about the person. But you can’t just ask questions, you need to listen to responses and even ask questions about the answers they gave you. Ask what they like, and then why they like it, Go deeper, lightly , it’s not an interrogation.
- Don’t be a comedian if you aren’t. Nothing is more awkward than trying to make someone laugh and not being funny. A sense of humor comes naturally to most people. But if you tell to many jokes, especially bombs, it could be tough to take you serious.
- Find your shared interests and expand on them. If you establish the similarities or shared interests off the bat, then it will stand out later when they are thinking, “what do we have in common’? So establish it early so they don’t question it later.
- Keep it light. Have fun, and keep it light. You might be strung up tight like a ball of rubber bands, but don’t show it. Keep it light and enjoy your time together.
- Be Yourself. Whatever you do, no matter how bad you want to develop a connection, you have to be yourself. If you have read the above information, you know that if you don’t, it won’t end up well for you. Why put on a façade and make the person develop a connection with a person that isn’t you. So be confident in yourself, and be you.
- Don’t be critical or judgy. Nothing could be more of a buzzkill than someone opening up to you and then them feeling like you are critical and judgemental. You run the high risk of them not opening up again.
Things to remember – Everything will be ok.
Developing a connection takes time, it surely doesn’t happen overnight. Be patient because, if it is real and it’s right, everything will be ok.
Stay focused on you. Continue to shine and everyone will notice. If you get yourself together, you are closer to finding the relationship that you want and deserve, no matter whether it’s with your ex or someone else. There is light at the end of the tunnel, we just don’t know who’s holding it. Remember there is someone for everyone, I see it every time I go to Walmart.
We hope this helped. If you have additional questions or other ideas on how to tackle this subject, please leave your feedback below.