Remember that being a best friend is half of being in a good relationship. You already have the best friend part down so you’re half way there. It is still a risk with a huge reward, so take the time to make sure you can follow through with all 3 stages.
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After great feedback from you we have revised our list and narrowed it down from the 10 best ways to just one best approach which has three parts that we think fits this situation. Keep in mind these are ALL equally very important if you want to turn a friendship into a relationship. It might not work, but this will give you the best chance for a positive result, whether it is the relationship you want or if that doesn’t work maintaining the friendship you have.
1 Your situation has to be right
- Neither of you can be in another relationship meaning both of you are the only principals in the equation. There is nothing worse than complicating a relationship someone else already has because you want to have one with them, just bad karma. Simply put, as my grandmother used to say, “how you get em is how you’ll lose them”.
2 Create an opportunity
- This is such an important aspect and we can’t stress it enough. After you’ve decided the risk vs reward factor is acceptable and you’ve made sure your situation is right, then create an opportunity that could take your relationship from platonic to non-platonic. You know best what that opportunity is because you know the person but here are a few examples.
- Do something a little different than you normally do that the other person enjoys, but don’t go overboard. If they like Italian food, take them to a good/cozy restaurant, not the best with violins at the table. Go to a museum, go see a romantic comedy and get dessert. You are the only one that can create that opportunity because you know the person. So put some thought into it and remember creating this opportunity can be tricky, you want more than normal, but not too much.That puts too much pressure on you, and them when you get to stage 3.
- I’m sure you might have been expecting a more climactic final stage, but if you have done parts 1 & 2, this should be able to fall into place. There are many aspects of this stage that actually start before your “opportunity” starts. Think of the ways you can communicate to them you ARE the one for them and they ARE special to you. This goes back to dating 101 but I will break it down for you to refresh your memory, you want to hit all 5 senses taste, smell, see, hear, and touch.
- Look good – No matter if you’re going to play tennis or going to a dinner and a show, look a little nicer than you usually do. Take the time to make sure what you’re wearing is right, your hair looks good, and you’re put together a little better than usual.
- Smell good – Everyone likes someone that smells good. Not too much, that’s annoying, but just enough to catch their attention.
- Listen to them – Eye contact, not too much that it makes you look like a weirdo, but just enough to let them know they are the center of your attention. And when you speak, make them smile, let them know you were listening and interested in what they had to say.
- Touch out of the friend zone – The best example is the hug example. Give a hug like your grandpa? Give a hug like you’re a teenager with your hormones going crazy? Give a hug that is gentle, one that is brief with a slightly tight embrace? You want to touch enough to get out of the friendzone so you can read their cues and react accordingly.
- Your mouth – Only you can gauge how you use your mouth. At this point in the date only you know if it’s going well or not and you have to make a decision then how you are going to use your mouth. That decision can determine how your relationship will go from that point on. If you go in for a kiss because the night is going great, kiss like you smell. Not too much where you swallow their head, not a chicken peck like your grandmother, but a soft yet firm kiss so they know you are for real. OR if the night isn’t going well and things were just awkward, use your mouth to talk about your feelings. Why you did what you did and how you value their friendship more than anything.
We hope this helped. If you have additional questions or other ideas on how to tackle this subject, please leave your feedback below.